walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
