i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
