So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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