Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
