remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
