U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
