Got a toothbrush?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
