Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
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