I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize