i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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