So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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