TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
