so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So much Jack, so little girl.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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