Are we in a gay sports bar?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
