I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she woke up with a sticky ear
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
