When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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