The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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