Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
