so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
