so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
