wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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