her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
