Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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