R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
