i don't like sucking hair
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
