As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
