I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
