The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
