I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
