have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
