You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
