Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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