Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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