I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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