i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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