I wanna bring you to show and tell
he puts the penis in happiness.
so let's talk penis.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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