A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
