is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
dude. I can hear the air.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
