I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
