Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
