i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We were destined to go to rehab together
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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