I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
