We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
