Did you just see the Batmobile???
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He better not be in your backpack
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
