I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
