She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
