so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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