yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
