Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
