You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
