so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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