im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
